MY FIRST STEP…

I love this

bella22mia

“There is no greater agony than bearing
An untold story inside you”
Maya Angelou

I turned 24, August 7th and I am not happy, don’t get me wrong it’s not because I am growing older but something quite different.I will graduate this year with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Linguistics, Media and Communication.In school I was taught so many things but there is one thing they didn’t teach me and that’s how to become wealthy.I feel like there is more to life. I feel the want, the burning desire to be free, independent, powerful, respected just to be my own boss. I have this fiery desire to be rich in an excess of 10 million pounds. To travel the world, experience different cultures, meet different people, spend time with my family and make a difference in the world. When a stone is thrown in water it makes ripples, all…

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Confessions of a Working mother.

Today I was late for work. I felt the need to stay in the house longer because I rarely spend time with my daughter nowadays. I kept hoping that if I hit the teaspoon against my cup she would wake up, say hi and then go back to sleep…all my efforts failed. She slept on as soundly as she had during the night.

When I started this internship I did not think that it would bring a gap between me and her. For those few months I stayed with her after clearing school we invested in a strong bond and I said to myself that it would never be broken. Those are the days when she would come home from school and make me a list of her friends. I am proud to say that in her category of ‘home friends’ I was her number one friend. And when her school friend hurt her feelings I happily shifted to being the number one friend in school. It was utter bliss for me! Oh how I miss those days.

I mostly loved it when she was bored with playing and she comes to the house to simply tell me that she loves me. “Mami nakupenda!” she would say as she hugged me and ran out of the house to continue with her mischief. When she said those words it melted my heart into sweetness and I felt proud; proud to be a mother of a young soul who never cared about the world.

Now I am working and I rush home everyday just a few minutes before she sleeps so that she tells me she loves me and kisses and hugs me goodnight. Even after a long day I feel blessed to have that sleepy smile and tight hug.

With work come other problems. I know her pretty well and how she handles her emotions. If I am not there she will simply ignore my absence and turn her attention to my mother who she calls “Mum”. For her it’s an out-of-sight-out-of-mind situation. Now I have to work so hard and show her that that bond we had is still there. I want to tell her that she can be sure she can count on me for anything. After all we have always been there for each other back when I was at home. We were the best home buddies.

A week ago she told me that she is tired of waking up in the morning and spending the whole day looking for me while waiting for me to get home. She asked why I go and why I can’t stop making her suffer. I was surprised more when she told me that I was ill-mannered for letting her go through all that trouble of waking up and not finding me in the house. I did try to explain but she is more interested in when I will spend time with her again.

I wish she could understand that I am trying to make life easier for us…That I want us to move into that house she saw a picture of on my phone. If I tell her now she will ask why we aren’t moving yet. She is 3 and a half now but she has the mind of a six year old. I try to handle her in the best way hoping that all will be well even as I work and I look forward to more I love you’s from her.

It’s never that serious

Keep an open mind because what is never serious becomes serious at times. It’s always serious when it has something to do with someone you hold close to your heart. It gets more serious when they are taken from you and no explanation is given by either parties. Nowadays you never can be too sure. It’s always serious because i really do not trust you.

I Am A Woman Who Survived.

Wow!

The Manifest-Station

Jen here. I have a broken foot as many of you know, so I am giving the site all my attention right now. I am over the moon with the posts these days! Pinching myself! Today’s essay is one I hope you will read and share and help me make viral. This is so well-written, so important. Anyone, and I mean anyone, who has known abuse- you are not alone. And you don’t need to stay. Janine Canty, you blew me away with this beautifully nuanced and heartbreaking piece.

Simplereminders.com Simplereminders.com

I Am A Woman Who Survived. By Janine Canty.

Every October I wear a purple ribbon.

It represents women who have lost their lives to senseless violence. It represents men and children who have lost their lives to senseless violence. It represents people who died too young, with most of their words still inside them. It represents the empty place at…

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Pretend less, read more

The History Woman's Blog

nerd-glassesSince being a nerd has become cool I don’t like it any more. Big glasses are no longer the indicator of a visual impairment caused by too much reading, and pasty skin is less likely caused by long hours spent in libraries, archives or labs. It’s more likely the result of an overpriced holiday in Finland and cleverly applied make-up.

It is now socially acceptable, even hip, to be seen sitting by yourself in a murky café reading Camus. It is even more so if you’re wearing a baggy jumper you found in a charity shop, while frantically scribbling notes into your Moleskin notebook or are indeed staring into your MacBook. Not even questionable personal hygiene or unkempt hair are a safe indicator that the person next to you is a borderline genius.

On the other hand, real nerds are now heading to the gym to fight the pen pusher’s…

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